


Broken Glass

by capchrisevaans



Category: Actor RPF, Chris Evans - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24595138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capchrisevaans/pseuds/capchrisevaans
Summary: You and Chris broke up recently you try and covince yourself and your friends you fine, but how do you really feel when you see him at a party unexpectedly?
Relationships: Chris Evans (Actor) & Reader, Chris Evans (Actor) & You, Chris Evans (Actor)/Reader, Chris Evans (Actor)/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

Waking up to the sun beaming through the little gap in the curtains, you roll over to see the time. Already mid day. Stretching to try and wake yourself up, looking over to the side of the bed he used to occupy. It's been four month of waking up alone. You thought you would be used to it by now. Your mind drifts to some of those mornings, the surprises when you would make breakfast in bed, ones where you would wake up to him staring at you, first thing you hear is him telling you how beautiful you look. Or the cold mornings when the night before you fell asleep wrapped and tangled with each other only to wake the same way. God did you miss those days.

A banging on your door pulled you from your thoughts. Rushing to look presentable, you open it to see your two best friends smiling before pushing you out of the way to enter your apartment.

“Please, do come in,” you say after the fact sarcastically.

Claire rushed off towards your bathroom, quickly saying hi. “She's been moaning about needing to pee for about an hour, but you know what she’s like, won't use public restrooms.” Nina rolls her eyes explaining, before gesturing to what’s you are wearing, “Late start to the day?”

“Yeah, I slept in sue me.” 

“So,” Claire made you jump reentering the room clapping her hands. “What’s the plan for this evening?”

“I haven’t asked her yet.” Nine explained, taking a sip from her drink you’d just given her

“Plans?” You asked cautiously, nothing ever good came from Claire’s ‘plans’

“Us three, tonight, party time.” She exclaimed excitedly

“I don’t really feel like going to a club.” 

“Not a club. A friend of a friend got this big penthouse and is throwing a party.”

“A friend of a friend?” Eyeing her, that usually meant a friend of a guy she was sleeping with, but she just shrugged. 

“Come on Y/N, you need to get back out there. Conquer the world,” Nina added.

“That’s the last thing I need. I love you guys but you know I’m not ready for that.” You’d lost count how many times you had this conversation with these two. You know they have your best interests at heart but you don't feel ready. Truth is you’re still not over him.

God. Even after all this time you still can't bring yourself to even say his name, but more times a day than you’d care to admit your mind wanders off, thinking of him. His smile, the way he looked at you when you were rambling on about something you were passionate about. The date nights. The nights out with friends. Him holding you close letting everyone know you were with him. When he would get a little tipsy and become even more handsy, even more so once you were alone. Holding you so close all you could feel was the warmth radiating off his body. The way his lips would trace along your….

“Y/N!” Nina was waving her hand in front of your face. “You zone out, where were you?”

“I-I was just thinking.” You feel the heat rush to your cheek, clearing your throat to shake off those thoughts.

Claire was rooting through your fridge looking for something to drink. “Let's make a promise to make tonight about us then, go to the party, drink a few and just have a good time just us girls. You know we haven’t done that in the longest time.” You have to admit she did make a good point. You’d all been working so much and haven’t seen each other as much as you use too. If tonight was just about you three having a good time and them not trying to hook you up with someone, maybe you could cope.

“Okay, I’m in.” They both jumped up and down like excited like school children. 

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The rest of the afternoon was a blur. Claire had another great idea that they get ready for the night and come back to yours as your apartment was closest to where you were going. So they left to get clothes and overnight bags with everything they might need. You stayed home showered and quickly had something to eat. Before yo knew it you were in an Uber on your way to the party. Pulling up outside a fancy building already crowded with peoples. You began to wonder just who this ‘friend’ was who was hosting the party. 

Swiftly you all made your way through the crowds into the elevator.

“Whos party is this exactly?” You know you asked before but you were more curious now with your surroundings.

“Some guy, Sebastian, I think.” She shrugged, pushing the button for the correct floor and the doors started to close. 

Surely it couldn’t be that Sebastian. That’s a common enough name right? 

The doors open to a giant room, filled with hundreds of people. Or at least it looked that way. Lights flashing, music thumping in your ears, you could barely hear your own thoughts never mind someone else. You feel a shove at your shoulder, its Claire holding three shots. How did she already have something to drink, you’d only been there about 3 minutes. Regardless you and Nina both took one. Claire held up her drink, it looked like she was making a speech, but you couldn’t hear a thing she was saying. Looking at Nina, she didn’t have a clue either, she just held up her own drink clinking it with Claire’s, so you did the same.

Several shots late, you were starting to feel a little heated and tipsy. Completely throwing caution to the wind all there of you were dancing, laughing and enjoying yourselves. You feel someone tapping you so you turned to see who it was.

It was Sebastian Stan. You hadnt seen him since before you and Chris broke up.

Chris. 

Thats the first time you said his name, even if it was just in your head it had you feeling all sorts of things. The alcohol probably didnt help.

Sebastian pulled you into a tight hug. Automatically you hugged him back. Yes he was Chris’s friend but over the course of your relationship you had become friends with him too. Shouting in your ear, still you could barely hear him. He asked if you were okay, and apologised that he hasn't spoken to much since everything had happened.

Pulling away you were afraid to say anything. All sorts of emotions were building up inside of you. Your only response was giving him a thumbs up and a smile you hoped was believable. Must have been convincing enough because you gave you one more quick hug before moving on through the crowd.

Turning back to your friends Claire gives you an apologetic look, she seems to have put two and two together. Quickly glancing round, looking for a bathroom, you see some stairs and take off. Taking the stairs two at a time, heading down the hallway that seems to have less and less people as you walked down it. Finally reaching The bathroom. A rush of emotions hit you, it's like you couldn’t breathe. Pacing around the bathroom you start feeling dizzy, deciding to rest on the edge of the bath, trying to calm yourself down, slowly, taking deep breaths until your breathing is back to normal and the rooms no longer spinning. There’s a harsh knock in the door and someone calling your name. It’s Claire and Nina.

Opening the door you let them enter.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really didn’t realise it was his party.” Claire said quickly.

Taking a deep breath before you start talking, “I know, I know. It's fine really. I don't even know why I freak out so much it’s not even like I saw him. I guess just seeing Seb and knowing they are friends made all those feelings I thought I pushed away come right back up.”

“If you want to leave, we under-”

“No,” you cut her off. “I’m fine like I said I don't even really know what just happened. This night was for us, so let’s just go and enjoy ourselves.”

“Okay” they both say at the same time.

Heading back down stairs you all got another drink and went back to dancing. Hours must have passed, you were still going. You were genuinely enjoying yourself, just dancing with your girls. You saw Seb a couple more times as the night went on but you didn't see anyone else you knew.

Until.

Nina made a signal as though she was going to get another drink and Claire and you both nodded while dancing. Suddenly Claire grabbed your arm, you looked at her to see what was going on but she wasn’t looking at you, she was looking over your shoulder into the crowd of people. Following her eyeline to see what’s happening you see a group of men all laughing and shouting. The group parted and you saw him. 

Chris.

The room seemed to go silent. There he was. Not quite right in front of you, but the other side of the room. Which quickly felt a lot smaller than it actually was. Everything was happening in slow motion. He just stood there, laughing and joking with his friends holding a beer, typical, god did he look good. You felt like you were staring at him an awfully long time but you didn’t care. Then he noticed you, but you still couldn’t look away. Now you were just two people in a crowded room starting at each other. From an outsider's perspective it probably looked a little weird. Then he did something, something you thought if you saw in person again it would break you. He smiled at you.

Do something, you kept repeating in your head over and over again.

Move. Smile. Look away. Anything, just stop staring. 

You managed a little wave of your hand causing his smile to grow. He got pulled back into his conversation with his friends. That’s when everything came rushing back into focus. The room you were in, the people, the flashing lights, the thumping music. You wanted to leave, you needed to get out but you couldn’t move. Turning towards Claire, you grab her arm to keep you balanced before she pulls you in for a hug.


	2. Broken Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Chris broke up recently you try and convince yourself and your friends you fine, but how do you really feel when you see him at a party unexpectedly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got done with part 2. enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you think :):)

You didn't want to leave. You and the girls had been having such a good time and it had been a while, besides you didn't want to ruin it. All you had to do was forget Chris was in the same room as you. Simple right? Once Nina returned she came bearing drinks, Claire filled her in on what happened while you gladly accepted the drink and downed it in one. A warm rush came over you as the alcohol hit your system and for a split second, you thought you could cope. The song changed, it was upbeat and seemed louder, you went with it. Your body moving to the music, Claire and Nina soon joined in.

It couldn’t have been more than half an hour of more dancing and laughing, before you felt the whole atmosphere shift, you knew he was behind you before you even looked. You got the confirmation when there was a tap on your shoulder. Turning around there he was. Chris was standing right in front of you. He started talking, you couldn’t hear a word he was saying over the thumping music. You held up your hand to stop him, tapping your ears trying to let him know you couldn’t hear what he was saying. Understanding, he pointed over his shoulder toward the door that led outside to a balcony, making a talking gesture with his other hand moving it back and forth between the pair of you. He wanted to talk to you outside, alone.

Looking behind you to Claire and Nina, you raise an eyebrow, silently asking what you should do. It felt very high school, asking your best friends whether you should talk to a guy or not. But they knew how you were after the breakup, knowing you would jump at a chance to talk to him, throwing caution to the wind not even caring if it was a good idea. They both give you small smiles and nods. Turning back to Chris before he leads the way outside.

Chris shuts the door behind you, leaving you both completely alone for the first time in a while. You’re surprised at how much noise is drowned out by the door being closed, for the first time in several hours you can hear your own thoughts. Now stand in front of Chris, neither of you saying a word, you don't know whether that's a good thing or not. Minutes seemed to pass, still, no one has said a word.

“You know, I never would have guessed you would be here.” He knew this wasn't really your scene, it wasn’t his either.

“You and me both, but Claire mentioned it and they both thought it would be a good idea so I tagged along.” You explain.

“H-how have you been since…” he trailed off like he doesn't know how to finish the sentence.

“Since you broke my heart.” You snapped. “Oh, I’ve been great. You know, it's not like I’ve spent every day for the last four months wondering what the hell happened.” You didn’t mean to be sarcastic and petty but yet you couldn't help it, it just came out that way.

“I’m sorry.” He bowed his head in defeat looking down at his feet.

“Yeah you said that, before.” Silence fell between the two of you. Moving away from Chris, you walk towards the railing. You’d forgotten how high up you were. The view was beautiful, you could see the entire city. A cold breeze hits you making you shiver so you pull your coat around you tighter. You get lost in the view of the city, so much so you didn’t notice Chris had come to stand beside you, until he started talking.

“I know me saying ‘I’m sorry’ didn't mean anything then and probably means even less now, but I really am sorry Y/N. For everything. Hurting you was something I never wanted to do, never thought I could.”

A rush of emotions ran through you, your anger was gone. Despite everything that had happened you didn’t hate Chris you didn’t know-how. The burning desire to know just one thing was coursing through you.

Why?

He never really told you why. You, of course, thought about it a few times. Whether it was something you did wrong, or if he met someone else. You stop yourself from thinking more thought like that. You knew Chris would never do that to you. Right? However, standing before him right you wanted to ask.

“Why?” Your voice is barely a whisper but he was close enough to hear you. You hoped he could hear the desperation in your voice.

“Why what?”

“Why did you end things. D-did I do something wrong? Was there someone else…” you try you best to keep your voice from breaking

“No! God no, to both.”

“Then why?”

“I-I” In that moment, as he stumbled over his word you very quickly changed you mind.

“Do you know what I-I can’t do this. Forget I asked, I have to go.” Pushing away from the railing you turn, moving your legs quickly to get away, get anywhere when his words stop you.

“I thought it was best for you.”

You freeze just as you're about to open the door. The border between you and the party. Slowly you turn back to face him. Leaning against the huge glass door. You could feel the music vibrate through the glass, still so surprised at how much some glass could drown out the sound. At the same time, you could feel how cold it is through your layers of clothing but you don't move. You just stand there staring at Chris.

“How on earth was you breaking up with me best for me?” The anger in you was coming back, you opened this door now you are going to walk through it, all you want is to understand.

“I was filming a lot in L.A and Atlanta. I couldn’t fly back and forth too often and you couldn’t come to me much as your job is based in Boston. I felt like we were spending more time apart than together. I thought it would be best to give you the chance to find someone who would be home when you would be. You deserve someone who you can have spontaneous dates with, someone who you could fall asleep next to every night, not every couple of months. So I decided to let you go.”

You push off the glass door and start pacing around the balcony.

“You really are stupid you know that.” He raises an eyebrow at your comment when you stop right in front of him. “Was there any particular reason you thought I was unhappy?”

“Not exactly.”

“Did I ever actually say you being away so much was too much of an issue for me?”

“No.”

“Did you ever even ask me if I was unhappy about you working in L.A so much at the time?”

There was a pause before he answered this question, you could tell he knew what you were getting at.

“No.”

“But regardless, you took it upon yourself to decide what I wanted from a relationship.”

“I told you, you deserved better than what I was able to give you at the time.” He sounded sad again. You took a moment to take in his words.

You take a step towards him, closing the space between you both. This was the closest you’d been since the break-up, you could reach out and touch him you were that close. You had to stop yourself from doing so, now wasn't the time.

“Do you remember our first date, you took me to that new ‘fancy’ restaurant that had just opened…”

“Yeah,” he paused, his face changed suddenly, a huge smile growing across his face as he remembered, “You wore that purple dress with the blue bit in the middle, you looked absolutely beautiful. Once we got there it turned out it wasn't as fancy as it seemed and we were way too overdressed. We left before we even made it to the table, I felt like such a jerk, I thought I messed up my chance with you right out the gate. Then you suggested we just get some ice cream. Then we ended up finding a quiet place to sit and spent the whole night talking.”

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, you loved that he still remembers so much about it even after all this time.

“Yeah, and at the end of the date when you took me home you said, even though it was only our first date that you really liked me and wanted to make a go of things officially. But you needed me to understand that you had a hectic work schedule and that meant you could be out of town for months of a time.”

Chris was about to say something but you held your hand to stop him.

“I told you I was okay with it, more than okay. As time went on of course I hated you leaving, but I knew how much you loved your job. Besides, I was busy working as well you know, it wasn't like I was just waiting around for you to come home.” You winced as you said the last part hoping you didn't sound like a complete bitch. “Do you want to know what made it bearable.”

“Yeah?”

“It was bearable because I knew it wasn't forever. Because I knew before I knew it you would be coming back home to me.”

You felt like you’d been having this conversation for hours. The worry and the anger you had when you started talking was gone. You wish he had talked to you about everything so you could let him know there was nothing to worry about. In a way you understood, you didn't like it but you understood.

Chris burst out with a chuckle. You joined in realising the whole situation was a complete mess.

“I may not have fucked this up in the beginning, but I sure managed to royally screw us didn't I?” He shakes his head.

“Hey, no ones perfect even you, Cap.” You joke, even throwing him a wink teasing him and he laughs. You are so surprised at how all of a sudden you are so comfortable with Chris. This entire conversation had been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Chris cautionsly reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then gently caressing your cheek. It's like muscle memory kicks in and you automatically lean into his hand, closing your eyes enjoying his touch.

“I miss you, so much.” Your eyes dart open looking directly into his crystal blue ones, god how you miss his eyes. You could hear the hurt and emotion in his voice. Feeling his body heat radiating off of him, you notice that you are now even closer with your bodies practically pressed against each other.

“I miss you too.” Responding with just as much emotion. As soon as the word left your mouth, Chris reached his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, closing his lips over yours. You instantly kiss him back. Wasting no time pushing up on your tiptoes deepening the kiss. You reach your arms up around his neck, your fingers glide through the short hairs on the back of his head.

He pulls away leaving you breathless. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” You don't reply with words, you just pull his lips back down to yours. Both of his hands, now around your waist, they grip you harder. Like he never wants to let you got. You secretly hope he wouldn't. The moment doesn't last long as you hear the door behind you opens and someone’s calling your name. Its Nina.

“Y/n. Sorry to interrupt.” She stops, you guess she shocked to see you in a lip-lock with Chris. “Claire absolute smash its only a matter of time before she starts throwing up. We should get going.”

“Yeah, okay I’ll be there in a minute.”

As the door closes and the sound of music is once again downed out again you turn back to Chris. Still tangled together.

“I guess this means I got to go.”

“Guess so.” Neither of you moves. Not even taking your hands off each other.

Reluctantly you did let go. Words got caught in your throat, you had so much you wanted to say so much you wanted to ask. Like was this it, was this just another goodbye, or could it be more again. Almost like he could read your mind, Chris brushed the tip of his nose against your placing one quick kiss on your lips.

“When you have some time maybe we could get a coffee or something and talk properly?” You were nodding your head yes before he’d even finished his sentence.

“Is your number still the same?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you.”

You leave him smiling saying you’ll be waiting. Walking back through the party, you feel like you’re walked on air. You didn't think this was how tonight was going to go. Leaving the party with your girls, they asked all sorts of questions about what happened. You stay quiet, lost in thought. Thinking maybe, just maybe something once broken could be fixed.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think. I’m thinking about dong a part 2 :)


End file.
